Why the K, Young Brantley?

Throughout life, I have been Daniel. A small handful of folks have called me Dan (my wife’s grandparents mostly), and someone will jokingly call me Danny on occasion. So what’s with the K in my web address?

Well, fine readers, the K is not what you think. Unless you think it’s just my middle initial. Then you’re right. But it is not a sign of pretentiousness.

Of course, as a writer, I can’t help but be a bit pompous, as my job requires me to know how to put a few words together and it’s hard not to laugh at those who can’t. But the K wasn’t dropped in my web address to make me appear bigger than I am. I realize I am still a little person in a little world, a freelance writer and editor in Cleveland, Tennessee. Or as it is often known, the city that is a few miles north of the larger (though not that big) Chattanooga, Tennessee – home of the Chattanooga Choo-Choo.

So why the K then? To be honest, the K came out of necessity. Don’t get me wrong. I love my middle initial. With its striking first line and solid overall form, it is a formidable structure, unlike so many other letters. But if I had my druthers, the K would be out of sight. Unfortunately, there was already someone else out there who used my preferred address, danielbrantley.com. Thankfully, he’s not a writer or editor, but is a “full-service law firm,” so there is little chance of confusion.

Despite this, I struggled to accept my K as part of my web and professional presence, but I’ve gotten over it. Even kind of started to feel a bit snooty about having it on hand. Of course, it’s not quite as wonderful as an Esq. at the end of my name, but I’d rather be a freelance writer and editor. Sounds conceited, doesn’t it?

Social Distortion to the Rescue

Music helps people make sense of stuff all the time. Right now, life has thrown some curve balls that have caused me to cling to Social Distortion’s “Ball and Chain.”

So from the bottom of my rock-and-roll heart, I invite you to hit play on the video below and get down and dirty with Social D.

Sniffin’ on Santa

Every once in a while, I come across a freelance project that is nothing but fun. The most recent one tasked me with writing a couple stories about Santa Claus, focusing in on the old boy’s legendary suit.

With no other direction, my mind instantly leapt on two ideas that had some meat, but more importantly in my opinion, some heart.

Without further ado, I present Of Soot and Santa and  Father Christmas. And before anyone laughs, I realize my last name is spelled wrong. However, that is a small price to pay for the pleasure of contributing to such a fun project. Besides, the stories are about Santa. Not me.

So put your adult disbelief aside for a moment and relish in the magic that is Santa and his suit.

Also, if you happen to be in the market for a Santa suit, there’s no need to look any further than santa.cc.

Finally, I realize I offered quite an extra bit of ado. Sorry…

Write a Novel with a Kid

Last year, I tried my hand at National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo for the experienced). The goal: 50,000 words written during the month of November. My end result: about 10,000 words. Yeah, pretty lame. Especially since I’m a writer/editor who should be able to kill a fun project like that with ease. But I didn’t.

So now I’m at it again. Only this time, I’m not doing it alone. (Okay, I didn’t technically do it alone last year, as there were thousands of folks from across the world participating and was encouraged by some old college pals who tuned me into it.) This year, I’m going to be writing alongside some students from Tennessee Christian Preparatory School.

This is being made possible and easier via NaNoWriMo‘s Young Writers Program. With these guys, students are encouraged to bang out a novel. The biggest difference is that each writer gets to choose how many words he or she wants to write. But I think I’m going to set the level at 20,000 words or so. And all who make the goal will earn the right to say they did it and to do something awesome with me when it’s all said and done. Since they all adore me, I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire school wants in on it.

In the event you want to do something similar, just hit one of the links above, sign up, and get ready to write that elusive novel you’ve always dreamed of.

Editing Just Got Easier

Being based in the small city of Cleveland, Tennessee, I could easily think myself a lesser freelance writer and editor than my peers in bigger cities known for bigger money and bigger publishers. But every once in a while, I’m reminded that the fine folks who edit even the largest national and international publications are nothing more than mere human beings.

Case in point:

Actually, let’s make it a couple cases in point. Because it’s getting bad.

I subscribe to a number of magazines for free. If you Google “Free magazine subscriptions” you can do it, too. And while I don’t always read them cover to cover, I’ve been finding more and more mistakes in them through just a cursory read.

Most recently, I found a handful of mistakes and inconsistencies in an article in SLAM magazine. Yes, you read right. In a single article. And since it was the first article I read in the issue, I shot a letter over to the editor. No response. Sent a letter to the managing editor. No response. Shot an e-mail to everyone I could find who worked with the magazine. Nothing. But not surprising. They have more important things to do. Especially if the only thing at stake is a misspelled word here and there, incorrect use of quotation marks, or a comma being used in the wrong place. Hey, it’s just a basketball magazine, so that kind of stuff doesn’t really matter anyway, right?

Well, I found even more mistakes in another magazine. One I thought had the same grammatical integrity as it attempts to have in its editorial content. The magazine? EBONY. Yeah, I’m a white guy in a tiny town known as Cleveland, Tennessee, but  I’m a freelance writer and editor (Have I said that already?), so I try to read as much as possible in order to stay up on newsworthy topics and writing trends. And these mistakes were huge. There was no punctuation at the end of a sentence. Words were missing in the middle of a sentence. As with SLAM, this was the first article I read, so I shot off e-mails with the same (lack of) response.

What can be learned by this? If these two examples are any indication, the newest writing trend is to allow mistakes to permeate each story. Which makes my job much, much easier.

Scared to Death of Cancer (Ebook)

Over the years, a number of new diagnostic tools have emerged that allow physicians to catch cancer in its earliest and most treatable stages. But are the treatment methods up to par?

http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=9366

Rick Springfield Live! You Heard?

well, i did a review of rick springfield’s new live dvd. it’s a great dvd, but i really didn’t have anything to say about it. so i made my review a highlight reel. there were some other great moments i didn’t mention (like when i realized i hadn’t seen a single guy in the audience until rick was ripping through the last 4 songs of the set. and if you’ve never seen someone use roses to play guitar, you’ve got to check this video out. or maybe it’s available online. if i knew how to toss a video on here i would. ooohh!!! well…i’ll try later, and it may be up in the future.

and yes, i do realize you can see a small bit of my dock. gotta love the screen grab.

Rick Springfield Fan Appreciation

So after I tossed up the Rick Springfield review, I got a letter from a lady from New Jersey. What is she doing reading an online paper based in Chattanooga, TN? Your guess is as good as mine. I’m figuring she used to live here and likes to stay in touch. Or maybe she Googled “Rick Springfield,” and ended up there. Either way, it’s great stuff. I left her name out for her privacy (obviously), but have posted the letter in its entirety and original color.

What makes this most interesting is how rarely I hear from anyone who reads the reviews. I mean, the band or author or film maker people will drop me a line saying thanks, but I think in my five years of doing them, I’ve gotten a mere 3 or 4 comments from people unassociated with the band/writer/film being reviewed. There was one great letter I got from a very concerned punk rocker, who said my review of MXPX’s Panic was a load of crock. Maybe I’ll track that one down and post it. It’s definitely a great read.

Anyway, the letter is below. Now I challenge you to get a copy of it and TRY not to see what happens at 23:05.

"But He’s Not Wearing Any Clothes!"

It’s fairly uncommon for me to give a negative review to anything, but I couldn’t help it on Half-Cocked. As you’ll see in the screen-shot review to the right, I tried to like it. I mean, some of it was cool, but overall I was bored.

While watching it, I felt a bit like the little boy watching the emperor prance around in his “new clothes.” After all, the film is deemed a “cult classic,” though I’m not sure who gave it that label. So whereas it would appear the world is in love with Half-Cocked, I stood there and screamed “But it’s not wearing any clothes! And it’s boring!”

Maybe I’m a nimwit, though…

Why You Should Google Yourself

So I was looking for some samples to toss around to get some more freelance work and decided to just Google my name and see what came up. I was surprised to find part of a review I did on a folk group’s (Wild Carrot) press packet one sheet. I was so surprised that I posted it here for posterity. Yes, it’s only a couple sentences, but it almost makes me sound like I know what I’m doing.

If interested, it’s on the left column about halfway down.

Well, should have kept on looking at links. I ended up on a Hearing Loss web site for a review I did of the beautiful film, Touch the Sound. You can head to the link if interested: http://www.4hearingloss.com/archives/2006/03/touch_the_sound_1.html

On Christian Tattoos

As a teenage rocker, I fully expected to be a tattoo monkey. Every day, my arms were covered in flames, words, etc… Now, I’m pushing 28, and getting the first one seems a bit trite.

Honestly, I can say I’m glad to have skipped the tattoo train. Though it looks like quite a fun train to ride, it irks me. Why? Because it lets people wear their hearts on their sleeves—er, skin. With a tattoo, there is no longer the need to start a conversation to learn that someone loves basketball. The orange ball stuck on his arm proves it. And that cross bursting through the ball shows he loves Christian basketball. [No comment]

“Sure,” you say, “some people screw it up. I use these tattoos to open the door to conversation.”

Well, maybe you do. Unfortunately, most people (in my experience) use tattoos as a hypocritical bus pass. I mean, who needs to go to church, read the Bible, or attempt to honor God in daily life when Christian images are tattooed from head to foot? No one—right?

On top of that, these things look AWESOME!

Dude, check out the new tat that Mark got—it only cost $120, and it says Jesus. Isn’t that font cool? Mark really knows how to choose tattoos wisely, and he’s such a good Christian! Oh, the pain and foolishness of pride. If salvation is as simple as marking yourself with permanent ink, what was the purpose of Christ’s work?

To save the foolish and proud, such as my uninked self.

Skottie Young Story Finally Published

So I’ve got an old friend, Skottie Young, who is an artist. As in “draws, inks, and colors for Marvel Comics” artist. Well, after working for about three months to get him on the phone, I finally did in…I think July or August 2006. I then spent the next week or so figuring out what the story should be, and then finally sent it to a paper in Bristol, TN/VA.

Well, they dug the story and wanted to run it. They just had to wait for the right time. After months of waiting, the time has finally come, and I’m pretty pleased with the outcome. To be honest, I didn’t know newspapers could do stuff like use blue font, but hey, more power to them. Glad to see such things are possible.

Anyway, I’m having an egomaniacal moment and wanted to share. Because of this encounter with my old friend, I’ve regained interest in the world of comics. For those out there who doubt the power of comics or think they’re childish, etc., I challenge you to pick up one and read. Or just get one to look at the art. It’s pretty amazing stuff.

Ah, crap. Just realized you can’t read it now. Sorry about that. If interested in reading it, put a note here and I’ll cut, paste, and rearrange it so you can. Otherwise, just enjoy the visual beauty of it all.

From the Chattanoogan.com: Quit Doing Your Job!

One for the books–someone feels it’s not right for meter maids to do their jobs. At least not on prom night. I mean, there are KIDS out there, and the LAST thing they need to learn is responsibility!

Anyway, this opinion piece is hilarious. Though I’m sure it would have had a different slant if the “author” wanted a parking space that was taken by someone with a meter that was run out and no meter maid was around to write a ticket. I can imagine it now: “Thank you, meter maid, for seeing how frustrating this problem is.”

Diagnosis: We don’t want people to do their jobs. I saw the same meter maid problem by some guy who ran into Starbucks downtown a few months ago. He came out and a lady was writing him a ticket. “Oh, come on!” he yelled. “I was just inside for a few minutes!” Guess what, pal, you don’t pay to park, you PAY to park. It’s her job.

I also got to experience this at Babies R Us a few years back. I just needed to buy something for my oldest daughter. While in the line, some lady was having a hissy fit with the cashier. “I’m on the news! You know who I am!” Her problem was that she wanted to write a check but had no photo ID, which is required at that store. The cashier was doing her job. The cashier even called her manager to see if they could let her off–nope. And that news lady (I have no idea who she was–an African-American with an infant at the time) had the nerve to tell the cashier that she was going to put something on the news about it. GIVE ME A BREAK. What would she say? “Local cashier followed company policy on Tuesday evening.” Sounds like something off the Onion.

Warm Up: Valet Parking

Just came back from a trip to Nashville. We stayed in an incredible resort, but there was one problem: our valet guy didn’t know how to drive a stick shift.

How does someone get a job as a valet without this skill? Good question. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to come across a good answer. Hopefully I’ll be able to get someone to bite on my pitch and I’ll be able to find out.

Otherwise, I’ll be left with a nagging question that seems to have no logical answer. A valet unable to drive a stick seems akin to a chef being unable to use a gas stove. Sure, most stoves are electric (well, at least in homes), but there are quite a few homes that boast gas grills.

This is not to say that stick shifts reign the driving world. This is to say they exist.

You believe automobiles with manual transmissions exist? Good! So do valet drivers–and some shutter.

Cool Down: From Typing To Writing

It’s 11:18 p.m. For me, a parent of two, it’s late. Really late. So why am I still up? Just as important—why am I writing? Is it because I can finally think in the quiet of the night? Or is it that I don’t have to think?

The TV is finally turned off and I’m left with my thoughts. Unfortunately, it seems there are few thoughts there. But that doesn’t keep me from typing. There’s something inside of me that screams, “WRITE!”–so I write.

While on the couch tonight for two hours, I loathed myself. I watched shows about tattoo artists changing people’s bodies. The artists were the essence of punk rock and were given amazing opportunities. They drove race cars, designed shoes for Vans, had their logos put on Ludwig drum sets. I want to do that. I want to do something huge. But to do it, I’ve got to write.
So I remind myself over and over: You are a writer. I realize I’m talking in third person, make the quick switch.

I am a writer.

So why am I wasting my time in front of the tube? There are hundreds of thousands of words to write, and I’m suckling the glass teat. (Props to Rob Sievert for that tag.)

Well, at least I have something to write about now. Because if there’s anything worth writing about, it’s the fact that I need to write. Making it even more necessary is the fact that if I don’t write—and if I don’t write well—I don’t eat. During the time I spent watching TV or sitting around doing nothing, I could have finished up a month’s worth of articles for a client. I could have created 10 killer pitches. I could have gone to bed.

And trust me. I want to go to bed. I just can’t right now. The need to write hasn’t hit me this hard in a long time. Yes, I do write every day, but it’s not always out of love for the craft. It’s out of duty. If I don’t write, I get so far behind I’ll never catch up. Sometimes, it’s embarrassing to admit, I even have to force myself to write.

Just a few years ago, I would have killed to pay bills with writing. Now I have to force myself to pound the keys. Not now. Now I’m so mad at myself all I can do is type. But I don’t want to just type. I want to write. There is a great short story somewhere inside that needs to get out. I will write it. There’s a novel that I started years ago that will get finished. And it will get published. And I will not pay to publish it. Someone will pay me for the manuscript. And while the next book may be impossible to start and finish, I’ll know I can do it. So I will. And then one day, I will have to force myself to write novels, too.

Then I’ll have another late night. It will be 11:28 p.m. and I won’t be able to go to bed. I may try to, but it won’t do any good. I’ll stare at the ceiling, wishing I had a notepad beside my bed to jot down a few ideas. But those ideas won’t be enough. I’ll need a keyboard in front me because I type 4 million times faster than I write and my handwriting hasn’t been legible for decades. And when I’m done writing whatever it is I have to write—whether a sonnet, a short story, or an essay about my need to write—I’ll breathe in. And the air will feel fresher and more airish than it has for years. And then I’ll go to sleep. I will still struggle between sleep and writing, but I will be content knowing the desire is still there, and it will be back again.

Cool Down: The Polite Bad Review

Every once in a while, I’ll receive a CD to review that I really don’t want. While I typically shy away from reviews that will hurt an artist’s career, I’m not always able to do so.

One of these problematic CDs came my way this week, courtesy of Southeast Performer. I’ve not written anything for them in a while, so I gave them the green light to send something my way. As soon as I popped the disc in, I knew what I would be up against: give it a real review or be nice and shelve my feelings.

Well, I had to go the hard route. The band may like me if I give a sweet review, but it would be a lie. For a writer, there are few things worse than risking your integrity to make someone happy.

For a person, I believe the same holds true.

So there will be a few guys who wish someone else had received their music to review. Does it really matter what I say? It’s just my opinion and plenty of other people have been digging their music. Besides, if they’re doing it for the critics, they won’t survive long anyway.

On Being a Christian and Writer

Over the Thanksgiving break I did some much-needed reading. No, I didn’t pick up a novel or book of poetry. I read William Zinsser’s On Writing Well.

After 50 pages, I wondered how I’d written for so long without going back and reading and rereading how-to books. There are simple things I’d forgotten about writing. One is that writing isn’t always simple. Another is that I need to bleed for what I write. My critical eye has been closed in favor of mass production. It was demanded at my first full-time writing job, and I’ve held onto that mentality. How do I get over it? Read. And write. And read what I write, forcing myself to bench a story if it isn’t a grand slam. Or as Zinsser says, “Notice the decisions that other writers make in their choice of words and be finicky about the ones that you select from the vast supply. The race in writing is not to the swift but to the original.”

Inside Zinsser’s book was something else to think about. He said essentially, writing is all about ego. Which is true. If you don’t think you can write, you’re not going to do it for a living. You may write 5,000 words a day, but you’ll never make money at it. Because you’ll never think it deserves to be published. So what is the Christian to do with this ego-driven occupation?

Pray. Pray for a quick mind. Pray for equally fast fingers. Pray for humility. And remember that while putting together sentences in a meaningful sequence is a wonderful ability, it is not earned or deserved. It is a gift.

Quote of the Work

“An absolutely necessary part of a writer’s equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment the world hands out and the punishment he inflicts upon himself.” – Irwin Shaw

An Ebook a Day

After wondering what the hype over ebooks was all about, I started doing a little research. I soon realized an ebook is little more than a Microsoft Word document tossed into a PDF salad. So I figured I should give it a shot. Why not? Millions of other chaps have done it, and it would be nice to expand my writing horizons by an inch or two.

So I wrote one about my recent employment woes and wonders. It’s an impressive 14 pages, but that’s with some pretty intense margins and lots of sweet pictures. (Maybe not lots, but at least one every third page.)

I then went about trying to sell it to a few different clients. I failed miserably. So…I opted to toss it online at myebook.com, a neat community that allows you upload ebooks and have the world read them for free. Granted, there is no guarantee the world will read or enjoy the ebook (kind of like this blog). However, compared to other ebook sites, this one seems pretty well run, and they have some really nice looking products, including comic books.

Anyway, my first ebook attempt is located at http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=9184

If you’ve got a free minute and want to find out the secret to my wealthy ways, check it out. Or if you want to rip me apart for using free stock photos, you can do that, too. Just be warned – those stock photographs will eat you alive.

Medical Tests Unnecessary?

A long time ago (two or three years ago), I was honored to attend a conference by the National Institutes of Health. The conference was titled “Medicine n the Media: The Challenge of Reporting on Medical Research.” Afterward, I was filled with vinegar and venom, ready to take on the world. Actually, I blogged about it fairly soon after returning home, alluding to the mysteries they revealed without going into any of the specifics.

Recently, I decided to finally put some of the information to practical use – an ebook. Yep, another ebook. Unlike my first, this one isn’t based on my own experience (as wonderful as that is to read about), but rather is a summary of what they taught during the conference. Well, not an overall summary. Just a summary of a couple points that have been gnawing at my brain for more than two years.

Enough with the introduction. If you read nothing else about the medical community in the next few months/years, let this be it. Not that I’m a wonderful writer or came up with anything new. It’s just completely against most medical wisdom you come across. To get the gist of the whole thing, look at the chart in the middle of the short little book.

Link: http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=9366

Hope you find it informative.

This Is Only Getting Better

Alright, the lady who sent the below e-mail about liking Rick Springfield has proven her worth again. I responded to her, letting her know I appreciate her kind words and that I would probably have to figure out what happened at 23:05, I got this:

It’s Only Growing Stranger

Believe it or not, I have gotten 5 more e-mail responses about my Rick Springfield review, and these things are coming from all over the place–California, Oregon, Kentucky, Arkansas, Atlanta…

I started to think that some friends were playing a practical joke, but the e-mail addresses are all over the map–and some are company e-mail addresses, which would be pretty tough to fake. Anyway, people somehow found this article (I’d love to find out how) and are in love with me for giving Rick the props he deserves. As I posted the original e-mail, I figure I may as well give you the rest as well so you can read in disbelief. I seriously can’t believe I would get so much response from one thing, especially after years of reviews that garnered basically no response.

I guess Rick has the best fans in the world.

Sorry to dwell on Springfield. It makes me feel like JR and his obsession with Sufjan, but this is almost too much. And I couldn’t upload the last e-mail. Ran out of space. Sorry…

Dogs Are Devils

For some good entertainment, read this article:

http://chattanoogan.com/articles/article_98730.asp

The gist: no more dogs are going to be allowed at the Chattanooga Market. Seems one of them lifted a leg to provide some nourishment to some of the produce. Everyone has a solid argument why they’re right and the dogs should either be allowed to stay at the Chattanooga Market or be forced to leave. Some of the best stuff in there is people getting all fiery and saying if dogs aren’t allowed, human children shouldn’t be either.

Example (and there are a number of people who had the same sentiments:

Now, I’m not taking a side–just stating the facts. But don’t you have to have a dog to go to the dog park? Is this person really going to hit the dog park just with family members? Sorry…out-of-context remarks are often the funniest ones, though.

But at least there is some solid logic somewhere in there:

Innocent? According to Sarah McLachlan, “We are born innocent,” but she doesn’t say anything about dogs. I think they’re guilty until proven innocent, just like the rest of us.

The real humdinger is the prick who decides to chime in with his comments that, I assume, he thinks are right on and will show the world how screwed up all of America has become. Unfortunately, he just shows how stu…well, you judge for yourself:

Good thing that guy’s entire lineage was born and bred and bred and bred and inbred on sweet American soil.

Hopping on the Next Research Project

Well, I got an e-mail from someone yesterday wanting me to do more research, and I agreed for 2 reasons:

1. It’s a person I respect, like, and love gleaning knowledge from.
2. The subject matter is intriguing.

Though I can’t divulge what the research is about, I will tell you that it is an eerie, hot topic. No, not Hot Topic. Just hot topic.

I’ll fill you in by mid-2009, when it’s in bookstores.

Until then,

Carry on My Wayward Son. And yes, I can rock out on that song via Guitar Hero–MEDIUM STYLE!

If It Ain’t FDA, It Ain’t Nothing

I know the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has its flaws. How could it not? It consists of human beings. On top of that, it’s a government institution. So the FDA has two strikes against it before it ever steps up to the plate. But it has its purpose and place in the world.

In my world, one of the FDA’s most important roles is approval or disapproval of medications and the like. Which brings us to the point. If someone is trying to sell you a product–be it a new-and-improved prescription medication, an herb from ancient China that has healed the world since being discovered, or a vitamin C/vitamin D hybrid–and it’s not approved by the FDA, stay away.

Without FDA approval, there is no guarantee that what is on the label is what you’re going to get. There is no guarantee that the energy-boosting pill you’re taking is going to give you energy and not diarrhea. And don’t think that every dangerous item that gets sniffed out gets taken out of the market place. Far from it. Just look at those little boxes of cigarettes behind the counter.

A Return to Fantasy

Years ago, I had a story published in a publication called Hadrosaur Tales. A few months ago, I tried to reread the story. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it all the way through it. It was a relatively interesting concept, but the writing wasn’t all that great.

That doesn’t come as much of a surprise. To this day, I have a hard time reading something that has gone to print. There are always wording and punctuation decisions I would change, so I prefer not to read my stuff after it goes to press.

Anyway, I recently regained the desire to write some wacky science fiction/fantasy and was thrilled with the possibility of publishing the story in Hadrosaur Tales (now Tales of the Talisman). So if you by chance subscribe to Tales, keep an eye out for a return to fantasy by yours truly.

If you don’t subscribe, it is definitely worth checking out, if for no other reason than to expand your idea of what can happen in life.

Oh the Horror(scopes)!

Flipping through a few old issues of the Weekly, I came across some of the most useless and entertaining bits we put out during the last leg of the paper. Known as the Horrorscopes, these were a fun way for us to take advantage of the horoscopes that without just cutting and pasting them into the paper.

To be honest, I’m not sure which of these I wrote, as everyone in the office worked together to come up with these, but they were all great fun. As you will see, we were occasionally as vague as many horoscopes, but the Horrorscopes were often extremely specific and it is in that specificity that they find their true horror. That and our strategic pitting of one sign against another.

Without further ado, I present to you a few Horrorscope highlights.

Enjoy…

ARIES, you need to be a team player when it comes to your job. Do your work as best as you can, but let it be known that you also stand by your coworkers. Be cautious when interacting with the coworker you hold a grudge against. It’s mutual.

GEMINI, sometimes the most unselfish act involves letting others do things for you. Stand back and let someone else enjoy the spotlight and dote on you. Avoid any compliments from the man in the white t-shirt. He is a backstabber.

CANCER, you can fix whatever is broken if you are prepared to put in a little hard work. Even your strained relationship with your daughter-in-law can be salvaged. Consider saving time by scaling back your goal, or asking others for help.

LIBRA: Finally! Libra, the world becomes an easy place in which to live this week. Throw aside your inhibitions and bask in your good fortune. Also enjoy some moments of indulgence. Just don’t eat the pudding on an empty stomach.

PISCES, if you don’t gather up all of your facts, someone could end up looking like a fool on Tuesday. Someone could even wind up in the hospital. That person could be you.

ARIES – Despite sincerity, your apology isn’t so readily accepted at first. Prove your repentance with your actions and not just your words and be sure your neighbor doesn’t know where you keep your insulin.

GEMINI – Others find you to be very amenable because you’re happy to oblige everyone’s whims. By the end of the week, you feel a tad nervous about a work project, and for good reason. If the coworker with the twitch wants to help, say “No.” He’s out for your destruction.

SAGITTARIUS – If you’re feeling a bit restless, now is the time for a road trip or an escape somewhere else. You may want to make this a solo trip especially if you desire soul searching. Even better, you may want to take the friend you’ve been unsure of lately, as it’s better to keep that person close right now.

CAPRICORN – When someone opens his or her heart to you, don’t be too careful in weighing the effects on your life. You could miss a wonderful opportunity in the process. So if someone asks you on a road trip, don’t forget to take your new cutlery.

AQUARIUS – No one can argue that you aren’t inventive and original. However, they may not be so quick to jump on board with one of your ideas. Don’t take offense. It’s just that your ideas are kind of bad.

GEMINI: A special friend from your past comes back for a visit. It could lead to interesting things. Keep your agenda open for Wednesday when love is in your stars. It will start a little awkward, but give it time.

CANCER: Keep your patience with a friend on Tuesday. This person is just feeling a little stir-crazy and really doesn’t mean the things he or she is saying. Avoid sleeping on your left side or drinking out of straws.

SCORPIO: A close friend really needs your help on Thursday. Make sure your schedule is open so that you can lend a hand. Put work on hold for some quality time with your mate. If this friend is a Gemini, be cautious. He or she is looking for love.

PISCES: Be the life of the party on Friday. You just may hook up with a winning romance. Look to Scorpio for some companionship. Unless you want to get hitched, avoid Geminis. They’re looking for something special.

AQUARIUS: Your confidence continues to rise, Aquarius. It could be because of good news you’ve been receiving at work. Consult with Leo for advice on improving your financial future. Then spend your money on self-defense. You may need it soon.

Tales of the Talisman

The month of January has finally come around. Reading time at Tales of the Talisman. So as I promised myself, I sent a story their way for consideration in the next issue of TotT.

Let’s hope they enjoy the false tale rooted somewhere in truth. Let’s hope they like it so much they throw a Hamilton and a copy of the issue at me.

‘Cause that is one strange story.

Bang Your Head

Sometimes, I feel like this.

Update: Denied by the Tales

Well, a few weeks ago, I sent off a short story to my beloved Tales of the Talisman (see previous post for info). The story was wacky and decently written. Yet they gave me the thumbs down.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve pitched a story, so the process was invigorating. And for some reason, I’m not upset at being denied. The editor was kind and all that jazz.

Kind of inspired to do more, actually. Well…maybe.

I’m a Linen Man

Many months ago, I was privileged to have a wonderful client for whom I wrote a series of art criticism pieces. It was a rather daunting task and one I approached with caution each go around.

Somewhere along the line, this client asked me to write a few brief articles on the world of linen, a request I accepted readily. Like the art articles, these took every ounce of brainpower I had stored in the ol’ noggin. While I’m sure there are ways they could have been improved, it’s always nice to complete a difficult task for the first time.

All this to say you can find the articles (if interested) by clicking here. You can also see a sample under the “Everything Else” on the Samples page. Now back to the regularly scheduled program.

FIGHT! Magazine Props

Over the last little while, I’ve had the distinct privilege of acting as copy editor for FIGHT! magazine. And while I hoped and imagined that my work was helping the magazine maintain their high editorial standards, this little pat on the back was rather unexpected. (Click on the image to get the full message.)

Needless to say, I am grateful to FIGHT!, not only for the opportunity, but for their willingness to stick their necks out there and give a high five and a smack on the rear to a lowly copy editor.

Thanks again, FIGHT! folks. It means a lot.

Sincerely,

Daniel Brantley

Ask Me about My Tattoo Accident

Last night, I was at the Cleveland Bradley County Library for a school function. At some point, I had to run to my car to grab something I had forgotten. For much of my walk through the library, I was directly behind a guy with a tattoo on his neck. The tattoo was a single word: “Lisette.”

Obviously, this was someone he had great affection for. And by the time we reached the exit, I decided to find about her. Guess it was the writer in me.

“Lisette on your neck,” I said, as he kept walking. “Must be a special lady.”

He turned and looked at me with a smirk.

“Your wife, I guess? Or,” I ventured, “your daughter?”

“She’s gone now,” he answered, as we went our separate ways. Three steps later: “My ex-wife.”

Which brought me to think of a few things.

1. That was awkward.

2. That probably happens a lot.

3. Having a tattoo on the back of your neck is equivalent to a bumper sticker that reads, “Ask me about my grandchildren.”

4. Or in the words of Social Distortion, “He’s gonna get his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his neck / And he’ll hope he never never lives to regret…”

ATTN: You. Yeah, You. The One Who Wants Some Free PR.

Have a great story that just has to be told?

A new product that needs a little publicity?

Get an award that everyone should know about?

Good news! I’m feeling generous and am offering you the chance to get a free press release. But hurry! Just like every product advertised on infomercials since the beginning of time, this deal won’t last forever!

Head to my Merchant Circle site to get in before the getting is gone!

Your Own Handy Font

If you’ve ever wished you could use your own handwriting as a font, the time has come! For about $15, you can do just that.

Crazy cool concept that gives you a one-of-a-kind font that cannot be copied. Check it out at Fonts in Bloom. You’ll be glad you did.

Now on to your regularly scheduled program.